Riding the Rollercoaster of life: 4 tips

It has been several months since my last blog.

The rollercoaster of life has demanded my full attention. I have been blinded, deafened and confused by the wind rushing in to my eyes, passed my ears and through my mind.

In June, I lost another very close friend to suicide. This was a shocking catalyst triggering a chain of events. Just as I felt - and had expressed - to those around me that life was finally gaining some stability, I was forced to confront ultimate questions about my present and future and make changes to aspects of my personal life and relationships.

“Life is a rollercoaster, just got to ride it”. Thanks Ronan for the sage advice. So how exactly do you ‘ride it’ when life keeps throwing you up and down?

1. Be still

It can feel counterintuitive to just stop. Stop and sit and be silent. Let the emotions be present. To feel how you really feel. I ran around like a headless chicken, trying to fill every moment with work, activity, conversation, phone calls. This can be exhausting and is really just a distraction technique. You can’t run away from your feelings, so stop and embrace them and they will stop chasing you.

2. Take the pressure off

Some days the last few months I have felt like I could barely function. Despite this, pressure at work was increasing. With no additional assistance or time off to mourn, I felt overloaded. I was simply going through the motions. And actually I decided to tell myself, this was ok. My heart was not in it, but tasks still got accomplished. Allow yourself to do the bare minimum. Writing a task list is an accomplishment in itself. Schedule a time to make that important call and the points you will say, even if it is not until next week. Keep chipping away but swap the chisel for a toothpick for a while.

3. Find inspiration

Lisa Simpson said in a recent episode, “read something beautiful and true in moments of sadness” whilst she was mourning the demise of a beached whale. If it’s good enough for Lisa, it’s good enough for me. I read Max Kirsten book ‘Self Help: Find Yourself to Help Yourself’ and it was like a tonic in the desert. I find in times like this when everything feels confusing, reading something positive, inspiring or simply amusing can make a world of difference.

4. Reach Out

Talk to someone. Admit you are struggling. Ask for their help, whether with practical tasks or just someone to call and speak to or to text. You may always be the one that people expect to be strong because of the role you play in the lives of others. But the teachers, therapists, parents, siblings and best friends are all human too. Each of us occasionally needs time off from the expectations we place on ourselves and those other people place on us.

And remember, what goes down, must come up!